Old as Balls

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Well, gentle reader(s), it's that time of year again. The time when the weather darkens, the foliage changes, Pumpkin Spice returns at Starbucks and my 3pm commutes become hell as high school kids flood the after school buses. It's the time when Goodwill becomes 'HALLOWEEN CENTRAL' and I am finally able to buy all the rubber rats I want without looking like a crazy person who might have a secret room in my basement that they'll find later and suddenly it will all be clear. In other words, Halloween is on the near horizon.

As you may or may not know, fall is my absolute favorite time, and in no small part because it contains Halloween. I Halloween hard-core. I take it way more seriously than I should. In my years of having multiple costumes that make no sense to anyone other than me, I've learned that I am one of a small minority who share this notion of Halloween. Most people don't put much thought into what costume they wear, if any. Most people don't agonize, plan, storyboard, spend lots of money they don't have. And most people certainly don't start this process in June.

Starting in 2006, I've had an historical costume every year, whether due to personal choice, or because I was working on the local Grave Matters living history event we totally didn't steal from Lone Fir Cemetery's event in Portland (which may not be happening again this year??? Am I never going to get to go?????). Last year, I took a break and went as Vince Noir from The Mighty Boosh and Grumpy Cat (at work), but this year I'm looking to get back to a historical costume.

Grumpy Cat- the cheapest,  most relevent costume of my entire life

Ever since The Great Gatsby suddenly regained popularity thanks to the movie, which I STILL haven't seen arrrrgh, I've seen a lot of the internet having Gatsby parties and talking about Gatsby themed costumes. And, as usual, while some of the Gatsby picnics and other get-together costumes are AMAZING,  my expectations fizzle out when I see how some end up. Guys, really with the low rent Chicago-style skank fringe dresses? Really? Is there an actual documented fringe dress out there from anytime in that decade, because we need to go back in time and stop it from existing.

Anyway, I've also enjoyed the general wank surrounding the film, book, what have you. People seemed to either love it or hate it (the book and the movie), and I'm still laughing at the people who went on and on about the themes of the book and how "you're not a real fan if you haven't  blah blah blah". Apparently it's 2006 and I'm still involved with the pop-punk scene , judging by the middle school bitchiness flying around the depths of the internet.

Despite not seeing the movie, and being in idiot English classes and not reading the book until after I was out of school, I wanted to ride the Brooks Brother-ed tails of this Gatsby craze to get some easy access to one of my favorite historical fashion eras for Halloween. I toyed seriously with going as one of the main themes in the book, General Disillusionment with the Jazz Age, which lead me to the idea I finally settled on. I'm keeping it a secret until the day of, but I'll be that ass who hints around and say, I've always really loved the Victorian Fancy Dress way of doing costumes, focusing on the personification of an idea, like "nighttime", versus being a thing, like a zombie or whatever.

PLUSSSSSSSSSSSSS, since I don't know what the hell my work schedule will look like, or if my mall job will even allow dressing up (highly doubting it), by making something that's more a straight-forward outfit that just represents something, I can totally sneak by any dress code issues and still wear a costume. THIS IS WHAT LOOPHOLES WERE MADE FOR.


Consider this an ongoing post, you have been warned.